Kai's Birth Story
If you’re reading this, chances are you found me from this IG Video where my hubby & I discuss the birth of our son, Chiron (Kai) Sage. I decided to include this blog post for those that like to read rather than watch :) I believe that birth is such a beautiful, natural, experience that should be embraced rather than feared. It’s my intention that in sharing our story, we can help inspire and enlighten those that are looking for birth alternatives and are wanting unmedicated births, too. As a woman, biologically speaking, we are MADE to do this— there is literally nothing more natural. Birth doesn’t have to be scary, despite what society and mainstream media says, and with the right education, preparation, and mindset, it is more than possible for you to have the birth of your dreams as well.
As most of you know, from 38 weeks we tried ALLLL the things to coax our little man out. I kept getting braxton hicks surges (contractions), but they weren’t consistent so labor didn’t progress. When 41 weeks arrived on 2/11, we headed to our midwife appointment where they warned us that if there was still no progression by 42 weeks, I’d have to be transferred to a hospital as I’d no longer be considered low-risk. I started to stress— going to the hospital was my worst fear as I wasn’t prepared for that, and this entire pregnancy was centered on the preparation & education for an unmedicated hypno water birth. It was frustrating that this was even being discussed considering he’s been head down since 25 weeks and I did e v e r y t h i n g to prepare my mind, body, and spirit for the birth I’ve been dreaming of. My midwife and doula reminded me that it was common for 1st time mamas to go past the 40 week mark (average time is 41.3 weeks from what we learned in hypnobirthing), and they instructed me to go home, relax, and keep doing what I’ve been doing.
On 2/12, I went to what I hoped was my last acupuncture appointment. During that appointment, I started to get surges— they weren’t consistent but they were definitely stronger than before. They kept up until that evening and we went to bed early that night jusssttt in case tomorrow was the big day. I drifted to sleep listening to our hypnobirthing track and prayed that my surges would continue into the morning.
At 3 am I awoke to stronger surges, and excitedly woke G up. We began timing them and saw they were showing up every 6 minutes— finally some consistency! We texted our doula, Maddie, and she let us know she’d be heading over. Once Maddie arrived, she had us labor in different positions to keep the surges consistent. Whenever I’d experience a surge, I’d exhale using horse lips so my cervix wouldn’t clench up (a clenched cervix can stall labor). She had us labor in the shower using nipple stimulation as well and by the end of the shower, my surges were coming in at 311– a surge every 3 minutes, lasting for a minute, for an hour.
311 is when we were instructed to call our midwife and head to the birthing center. While driving, I even made a comment to G saying how labor was intense but it wasn’t unbearable and how surprised I was with how smooth/easy it was all going. We arrived to SCM at 9:30am where our midwife, Aki, checked on me finding I was only 4cm. It made sense why I was still feeling great and she even commented saying how she could tell I wasn’t in active labor with the fact that I was still smiling. She instructed that we go home to continue labor, so off we went.
Maddie said we’d head back to the birth center once my surges became audible and I commented that I wasn’t sure how audible I’d be with my hypnobirthing training (typically you’re quiet during birth with hypnobirthing— instead, you go inward and focus on relaxing your entire being to help breathe your baby out). She had more tricks to get labor going: from using her rabozo, to bouncing on the ball, more shower time, massage (my personal fave), e-stim on acupressure points (also one of my faves), squatting, sitting on the toilet (surprisingly effective with relieving pressure and I found surges pretty bearable on the toilet), hands & knees, heat compression with surges— all these techniques not only helped labor progress but just as importantly, made it much more manageable.
We finally headed back to SCM by 4:30 and this time, I definitely wasn’t smiling. Instead, I was turning inwards with my surges coming in closer & closer together. This time when Aki checked me, I was finally 6cm—officially in active labor!!! We headed to the birthing suite and labored more, G continuing to be my rock and support throughout this entire process.
I was finally able to get into the tub and labor started to really intensify. My surge breath with horse lips started to include a low tone which helped me cope with the intensity. I had them check me again and I was at 8– so close! I started to feel like I had to poop, so they had me sit on the toilet for some surges which were no longer a welcomed relief but it still helped push me through. I headed back into the tub, prepared to go into my usual position where I leaned over the edge and on my knees, but they asked me to try squatting on my yoga block. I did and it was just wayyyy too intense— it literally felt like I had to take the biggest poop of my life— so I moved to the end of the tub to hold myself up while trying to squat. My breaths turned into low moans through each surge and I started transitioning into gentle pushing with each surge. In between all this, G kept feeding me honey sticks and sips of coconut water. At the time, I hated it but knew I had to continue to hydrate and keep my energy levels up— I’ve heard of women being transferred to the hospital out of pure exhaustion, a reality I refused to accept as an option for myself.
After a powerful surge, I asked if someone could get Aki to check if I was ready to push at this time. She checked me and saw that I was 9.5 cm and told me to push through the next surge. When it came, I tried to breathe it down like I was taught in hypnobirthing but it didn’t feel like it was going anywhere. Maddie said I *needed* to hold my breath and reminded me how close I was to finally meeting my son. I knew it went past everything I was taught in hypnobirthing but honestly, I didn’t even care at this point, I just knew I wanted him out. So with the next surge, I held my breath and pushed with all my might.
I could feel my midwife helping him out and she mentioned something about moving him past my pubic bone. After a few good pushes, everyone reminded me to rest in between surges and to remember to catch my breath and rest when I’m not in a surge. They kept coming on strong so in between catching my breath, I kept pushing as hard as I could. I remember thinking how I felt like I may be tearing, especially as his head was getting closer and closer to coming out. When I was told how they could see his head, they asked G if he wanted to feel him and he did. When they asked me, I immediately shook my head no, too focused on pushing him out. With all the pressure down there, I knew he was in the “ring of fire” that everyone talked about, so when the next surge came I told myself I didn’t even care if I tore, I just needed him OUT. I pushed with all my might and the next thing I knew, Aki caught his sweet little body and passed him to G, who passed him through my legs to me after letting him hang out in the water for a bit to get acclimated to this big new world.
Chiron Sage officially arrived earth side at 11:19 pm on 2/13/21. His eyes were so alert and you could tell he knew he was HERE. This whole experience was worth it just for that alone.
Finally, I gave birth to the placenta on the bed which was suuuper easy and not painful at all...I guess it’s easier to birth something without bones! I did loose lots of blood after delivery though— G later told me how scared he was seeing all that blood on the table but didn’t wanna freak me out— and I was given pitocin to stop the bleeding and 2 bags of IV to help hydrate, along with uterus massages.
All I could say throughout that entire day was how “intense” it all was and the first words out of my mouth once Kai was finally earth side was literally, “Holy shit, that was intense— I totally get why people choose epidurals and I’m definitely gonna need a couple more years to prepare myself for this shit again.” It’s true what they say about momnesia though, because here we are a month later with G & I are already talking about our next!
Despite the intensity and exhaustion of birth, this experience was powerfully life changing and 1000% I would (and will) do it all over again. I gave birth to not only my son that day, but also a new Me. I dove deep into that portal between Maiden and Mother and came out not only alive, but a hell of a lot stronger than I ever could’ve imagined and with a beautifully alert, healthy, perfect baby boy. Surprisingly, I didn’t even tear! I believe it was due to the fact that I was birthing in water, focused on relaxing my entire being, listened to my body and only pushed during a surge, along with kegals and perineal massages that I did in preparation. In total, I was in active labor for about 6 hours and pushing for 20 minutes (according to Maddie, most first time mom’s are in active labor for about 8-13 hours and pushing for 1-2 hours). I think I have the dates, squats, kegals, raspberry tea, supplements, and prenatal yoga to thank for my faster active labor and pushing. Throughout it all, preparation was definitely key to the success of our dream birth. I think it’s a looot harder and in my opinion, close to impossible, to have an unmedicated birth if you decide to “just wing it.”
Of course, I don’t believe my dream birth would’ve been at all possible without my rock and stud of a husband— he was there to constantly support and encourage me, both mentally, physically, and spiritually— our doula Maddie (seriously don’t know how anyone gives birth unmedicated or progresses labor successfully nonetheless comfortably without a doula), and the rest of our amazing birth team from South Coast Midwifery (SCM). What a ride this was and to think this is only the beginning💛
